The Top 5 Reasons to Fart in Front of your Significant Other
OK. I hope you are not offended. There is some humor in this, but also an underlying truth. To fart, or not to fart; that is the question. It’s like the sexual progression: first touch, the first hug, the first kiss, the first “making out” and the first “going all the way.” Maybe the question of when and where to fart, if ever, is similar. In my 3 decades as a clinical therapist, I never recall the “farting issue” emerge; directly that is. But, I know it’s an issue – an issue with questions and markers. • What holds me back from farting in front of my significant other? • Why do I want to fart in front of my significant other? • Do girls (women,) especially “classy” girls, really fart? • Do only gross uncouth men fart in front of their other? I did a Google search and there was only one credible research article on farting and relationships. The idea of farting, even the word “fart” is rather taboo. It’s not quite as bad as the word “shit” however: but taboo enough that we don’t usually talk about it. Let’s take a look at reasons why farting in
8 Critical Keys to Saving Your Marriage with the EASY LOVE Laws
I’ve observed thousands of people over my near 30 years of clinical practice as a Marriage and Family Therapist caught in the clutches of martial anxiety, tension and worry. The tension and anxiety that results from the “Force it/Fix it” model you were taught can be paralyzing. And, over time, it becomes more and more difficult to escape the worry and dread. So, how do you begin to eliminate the worry and tension? How do you calm your mind and spirit? How do you arrest your worries? Over the years of clinical practice, I’ve discovered 8 keys to making the shift from “making” love happen to allowing EASY LOVE to capture your hearts. Key #1: You must reframe the picture you were given of love, marriage and intimate relationships. You have in your mind a picture, image or idea of what love and a loving relationship should be. This picture was developed over time as you observed others, were exposed to the different forms from media and encountered your significant others. Look at that picture of loving now. Place a frame around it. It can be a still picture or a streaming video. What do you see? What does your
7 Pitfalls in Trying to Find or Maintain that “Special” Relationship
You search for that “special” relationship. Falling in love means finding that “special” someone who reciprocates that feeling of being “special.” Or, you long to feel “special” in your significant relationship. If you are bored or there is a lull in your relationship you long to make it again “special.” Those cheating on their spouse report over and over again that they found that “special” person or relationship that was missing in their marriage. And when the “specialness” begins to fade in the context of your relationship you begin to fret and worry. Something seems to be wrong. The marriage or relationship is in trouble. Please know that a “special” person or relationship differs from a special person or relationship. “Special,” as I use the word, refers to a set of illusions or distortions that get in the way of ultimate and lasting intimacy. Special refers to a relationship of devotion or commitment, where an intentional focus exists to know and be known at deeper and deeper levels. Let’s take a careful look at the pitfalls in the idea that either you or the relationship needs this “special” feeling. And then, I will show you a different way of thinking
Emotional Infidelity: Is Emotional or Physical Cheating Worse?
A study was conducted at Kansas Sate University surveying some 500 men and women asking the question: which would worse: imagining your partner involved in passionate sexual cheating or your partner engaged in emotional cheating with someone else? And, following the lines of gender stereotypes, the study concluded that men would be more disturbed by the physical cheating and the women by the emotional cheating. Now, here’s an important question I raise: Did any of those surveyed have an experience with a cheating spouse? From my experience it makes a huge difference. I would guess that most of those interviewed, and maybe most were college students, did not have extensive experience with a cheating partner. And, so they would follow along with the gender stereotypes that become apart of us from an early age. In 3 decades of clinical work with hundreds of couples and thousands of individuals suffering marital crisis, cheating being a major portion of those, gender differences seem to fly out the window. Once infidelity or cheating strikes (in a long term relationship of deep emotional investment) you see and experience the world differently. Men are just as concerned about the emotional loss of their spouse as
11 Keys to Save Your Marriage Using Love Thoughts
In the professional and self help community it’s commonly understood that your thinking creates reality. What you think about becomes your world. The thoughts in your mind color how you see and experience your world. Your thoughts and those images swirling around those thoughts generate your feelings. You focus (or think) on the ugly and your life feels ugly. You dwell in your mind on the beautiful and you feel more beautiful. Let’s apply that to your marriage or relationship of emotional investment. How do you think about your marriage or significant other? Notice the thoughts and how they color and form how you feel. Your thoughts change and transform over time, sometimes taking on a dark side. You fall in love and you have idealized and powerful love thoughts: s/he is the one, we are soulmates, s/he meets my every need, s/he completes me, he is my knight in shining armor, she is my princess, I can’t wait to be with him/her, I can’t get him/her out of my mind, etc. As time passes and you become aware of the human being with foibles and fears the thoughts alter. Your thoughts now are: what happened to us? S/he is
Unhappy Marriage: The Process of “Falling out of Love”
The Unhappy Marriage: The “Falling out of Love” Process A Marriage and Family Therapist outlines the 3 stages In this article I will outline the 3 steps of an unhappy marriage that most of us, actually everyone that I’ve encountered, go through as we “fall in love” and then fall “out of love.” At the end of the article I will explain why it is crucial for you to grasp and even welcome this process. First, a relational law states that relationships of emotional investment are either moving forward and getting better or are headed in reverse and getting worse. Unfortunately most marriages or relationships of emotional investment are headed in reverse. All you need do is realize that the divorce rate hovers at 50% and 9 out of 10 report being unhappy in their marriage or relationship. Here’s what happens in your relationship to generate an unhappy marriage. Step #1: You Fall in Love” You meet Mr. or Ms right. It feels terribly wonderful. You think about them almost constantly; you can’t wait to see them; you get the butterflies. The touching sends a shiver down your spine, the conversations, and the texting goes on and on… you are
What you learn about Marriage at 6 will kill your marriage at 36 or 46
I remember one evening sitting on the couch watching Cinderella with my 6 year old granddaughter. She was enthralled with the movie; eyes riveted; heart obviously attached to Cinderella. Then I thought, “What is she learning about relationships, about love and about marriage?” My heart skipped a few beats as I watched the budding “relationship” of Cinderella and the Prince. Have you ever noticed: 1. Cinderella and the Prince never have a conversation? They merely looked starry eyed at each other and in some fashion “fall in love.” 2. Cinderella was being rescued by the Prince. He truly was her knight in shining armor. He would come and make her life incredibly better, all without carrying on a conversation! 3. Did you ever wonder what the Prince saw in Cinderella? Well, I suppose he saw a cute little thing, the cutest in the realm, even scrubbing the floor. She certainly would be a prize, would she not? And, do you ever think the Prince had any sexual thoughts about this cute thing? 4. And, of course, they would live happily ever after. Their relationship would cement where it was: always starry eyed, she being cared for by a wealthy good looking
Build Intimacy and Good Feelings with Appting
I’ve rolled out a new process to help you build intimacy and good feelings in your relationship – if both of you are ready. About two thirds who downloaded the Appting Guide considered themselves qualified to use it. Appting is a powerful and simple way to shift the momentum in your marriage or relationship and let the good feelings mushroom. I’m getting great feedback from those Appting. BTW, Joe sent me an email with another simple but powerful way to generate good feelings. Read what Joe says, “Your emails and materials have been very helpful to me over the past four years, and I appreciate your advice and information. My wife and I have done something very similar in effect to “appting,” and I thought I would share it with you. We have framed a sheet of paper with a single phrase printed in the center. It is hung in our bathroom, and it reads, “I love you because …” With a dry erase marker we can each write on the glass (I use the top half, and she uses the bottom) and complete the sentence with a phrase or thought that we might be feeling that day. At any
Marriage in Crisis: Tips and Advice
Conventional marriage tips and advice often offer ways for you to “fix” your marriage or relationship crisis. It is suggested you look “out there” to a therapist, to a skill, to a seminar or to a book to solve the problem. You also, sometimes obsessively, focus on your partner or spouse attempting to elicit assurance or information. Discover in this video why external focal points are dead ends. Once you shift your focal point, healing of the relationship crisis begins with power. Download the audio for this video now!
How to Save a Failing Marriage
Tip #2 for how to save a failing marriage involves enlarging your world. Those typically with marriage trouble believe they’ve said it all. In reality, most have much much more to communicate, yet fail to realize or be aware of what is unsaid. Learn 5 specific ways you can enlarge your world during your marriage crisis to resolve more quickly and fully your troubled marriage or relationship. Download the audio for this video now!