People don’t often realize it, but emotional infidelity can be just as destructive as affairs that progress into physical infidelity. If you’ve slipped into emotional adultery or are concerned that your partner has, it’s natural to feel adrift and alone. A quick online search reveals, however, that emotional affairs are common. As depressing as that may be, here’s a silver lining for you: Blogs and articles about coping with emotional affairs abound online. Wading through them all is easier said than done, of course. Fortunately, we’ve done the work for you by hand-picking the 15 best blogs for dealing with this potential relationship killer. Chances are at least a few of them contain advice that’s relevant to your situation!
Start Dealing with Emotional Infidelity by Checking Out These 15 Terrific Blogs
In this eye-opening and incredibly comprehensive blog, the folks over at GoodinBed.com delve into the concept of the emotional affair. Over the course of two dozen different sections, the author guides you through everything from defining the concept of emotional affairs to providing easy-to-follow advice concerning a variety of specific topics. If you only read one blog about emotional infidelity, this is a great one to choose. It’s also an excellent starting point on a journey of learning how to cope with this type of disruption.
Who better to give relationship advice than couples therapists? A handful of very experienced counselors are behind this intriguing blog over at Divorce Busting, and we couldn’t be more thrilled. The gist of this post concerns dealing with suspicions that a spouse or partner may be involved in an emotional affair. It provides a rundown of the types of behaviors you may find yourself slipping into, including snooping through your partner’s belongings and even reading his or her email. This piece explains why emotional affairs are so destructive in a way that’s approachable and compelling. The best part of all is it ends with a suggestion to simply have your partner read the article too, which provides a way to broach the subject for those who are scared of confrontation.
Anyone who’s familiar with the world of relationship coaching is aware of Monika Hoyt, who is widely regarded as one of the experts on the subject. This post is useful for a number of reasons. Most notably, it includes a brief yet illuminating video that summarizes the article’s key points. As for the post itself, it covers everything from knowing how to spot an emotional affair to strategies for getting over one. Some of the advice may seem obvious – you should clearly break it off with the person with whom you’ve been having an emotional affair – but it’s still a worthwhile reminder.
In a world overrun with relationship advice columnists, Go Ask Suzie is a major standout. She’s a guru of sorts when it comes to overcoming infidelity, and this post is especially useful for anyone who’s coping with an emotional affair. It kicks off with a question posed by a reader named Kevin and then segues into a wide array of very specific and useful information. Suzie’s main piece of advice? Develop more acute self-awareness. By being aware of how emotional affairs begin and understanding how fantasies can segue into relationship-killing situations, you can more easily nip these issues in the bud and keep your relationship strong.
Infidelity Healing is a wildly popular site about, not surprisingly, infidelity. It’s only fitting, then, that it also contains a wealth of resources concerning emotional infidelity. The three Ps in this case – patience, persistence and program – can be followed to hopefully overcome an emotional affair and keep a relationship intact. Still, the blog isn’t trying to sugarcoat anything. It acknowledges that a lot of hard work is involved in moving past something of this nature. By program, by the way, the article means to seek therapy. At the end, in fact, there’s a link you can use to receive a free guide about moving on after an emotional affair.
If you’re worried about receiving advice from nameless, faceless people on the Internet, you’ll be reassured to know that this blog is brought to you by Rick Reynolds. He’s a licensed therapist who specializes in helping couples recover from affairs. In this post, he covers the results of a survey he conducted concerning people’s perceptions of emotional affairs. There’s also a quiz that helps you define what type of affair you’re dealing with. The article itself is a must-read, but the comments that follow are just as useful, so be sure to check them out too.
The author of this post manages to convey the feelings that develop between people who are involved in an emotional affair. Somehow, seeing it all on the screen in black and white is soothing when coping with such a stressful situation. The Family Life site is known for its well-written, high-quality posts, and this one is no exception. After outlining what emotional affairs are and how they happen, the post moves on to provide advice about avoiding them in the first place. From being mindful about how much eye contact you’re making to watching out for feelings of isolation in your marriage, the advice provided here is positively priceless.
If you’ve been burned by emotional affairs before or just want to avoid them at all costs, this post is for you. Dr. Richard Nicastro, the psychologist and counselor who’s behind the Strengthen Your Relationship site, jam-packs this post with lots of incredible insights. 10 warning signs are highlighted here, and they’re followed up by specific tips for “affair-proofing” your relationship. As Nicastro so deftly explains, it’s foolhardy to think you’re “immune” to emotional infidelity. A better course of action is to be aware of how it happens and to take steps to minimize the risk. There’s also an option to download a special workbook package, which may prove to be useful as well.
As the name suggests, Husband Help Haven is a site that’s geared toward married men. This post deals with how to cope after your wife has an emotional affair. Even if you’re a woman, however, you can glean a lot of great advice from this post. The nine tips that are outlined in the post are incredibly comprehensive, and the author provides useful examples for just about every one too. If nothing else, this article will give you a lot of food for thought and should help you start repairing the damage that’s been wrought by an emotional affair.
The concept behind Emotional Affair Journey, the site where this blog is hosted, is incredible. Linda and Doug, who have been married for more than 30 years, open up to the world about how they have moved on from infidelity. This post is written by Doug, who was involved in an emotional affair. As such, he has unique insights into how it happened in the first place. Blunt and transparent, Doug points to failings like lying to himself, being insensitive and selfish and even being an “uncaring coward.” Anyone who is thinking about getting involved in an emotional affair will think twice after reading this post.
Jack Ito, a well-known relationship coach and PhD, really outdoes himself in this comprehensive blog. As the title suggests, it contains a number of questions concerning emotional affairs. Presumably, most of them were posed to Ito by readers. He answers each one with incredible insight. The question-and-answer format makes this post very approachable and easy to relate to. As an added bonus, Ito provides links to additional resources, so you can study up even more without having to perform any online searches. By the time you’ve worked your way through the piece, you will have a clear idea of how sexual affairs differ from emotional affairs and how they’re both incredibly damaging.
For those seeking relationship advice with a more spiritual slant, this post is sure to come quite in handy. The fact that it’s in a slideshow format makes it a little easier to digest too. With each passing slide, you learn more and more about the signs that you may be involved in an emotional affair or that you could potentially fall into one. Because it’s hosted by BeliefNet, the post takes readers’ faith into account, so it offers a refreshing perspective for those who are spiritual and/or religious and struggling to overcome emotional infidelity.
If you’re looking for advice from a woman’s perspective, the Divorced Moms site is a veritable goldmine. This post clearly defines sexual affairs and emotional affairs and helps to demonstrate how they’re essentially two sides of the same coin. The author, Cathy Meyer, explains why some men find themselves having emotional and/or sexual affairs. Things like anger, fear and loneliness are often to blame. By being cognizant of that, men may be able to nip such issues in the bud before they cause them to cheat on their partners. Even if you’re the partner of a man who is cheating, you’re sure to come away feeling a lot more informed about these situations and mindful of the warning signs leading to them.
Chump Lady is famous for her blunt, direct, devil-may-care attitude regarding cheating. This post directs her inimitable style toward emotional affairs. It introduces the topic through a question posed by a longtime reader, whose husband of 12 years has been carrying on, at the very least, an emotional affair. Chump Lady’s main piece of advice is to confront him as quickly as possible. Before doing that, nothing more can be done to deal with an ongoing emotional affair. Besides, it could very well be that nothing is actually happening. Worrying and wondering will get you nowhere, as the Chump Lady makes abundantly clear.
Goofy name aside, the Feel Gooder site includes a wealth of resources for people who are trying to keep their relationships together. Doing so often involves overcoming infidelity. As this post so compellingly explains, there are three things that all emotional affairs have in common. Indeed, that’s regardless of who’s involved in such affairs or other specifics. Understanding these three traits can help you avoid emotional affairs in the future. If you’re coping with the aftermath of one right now, this post will help you feel less alone and provide you with useful advice on how to move on with your life while, with any luck, saving your relationship. Make sure to read the comments too. This is a very active blog, and dozens of readers chime in with stories and insights of their own.
Although some of the blogs and articles highlighted above are ostensibly geared toward men only or women only, the reality is that the advice they provide is applicable to virtually anyone who is coping with emotional infidelity. After reading all of these posts, you will have a much better understanding of what emotional affairs are, how they occur and how they are overcome. In this way, you can move from feeling lost, alone and angry to feeling hopeful, optimistic and empowered. These posts are just the tip of the iceberg too, so be sure to check out additional resources down the road!