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Distant Spouse

Emotional Distance is a Way to Cope

Can you think of someone who copes by being submissive, by accommodating others, sometimes by relishing the victim role? Can you think of someone who waltzes through life being seductive or charming as a way to get what s/he wants? Or some who cope with the inner anxiety and fears by controlling his/her world and …

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Romance is a loaded word

As a male you are asked to be more romantic. If you are a typical male, this strikes a scary cord. You think of some stud, with piercing eyes and sly soft smile who knows how to wooooo a woman and “sweep her off her feet.” You are expected to say the right thing at …

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Need Meeting in Marriage is NEVER Enough

And as you scan the media, as you encounter others at work or in other contexts, and if you look a little below the surface, you notice that getting personal needs met is a huge priority in our culture. The need for attention, the need for power, the need for success, the need for recognition, …

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Your marriage will be difficult?

The marriages that struggle and endure with pain far outnumber those they observe that offer life and health to the couple. Reality indicates to you that just perhaps marriage will be difficult. It is expected, especially if you talk to other married couples, that the marriage will grow “cold.” The passion will fade. The advent …

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One ALWAYS Wants More Intimacy in the marriage

One spouse always seemingly wants more (intimacy, talking, connection, time together, etc) than the other. There is ALWAYS an imbalance. Usually, but not always, it is the male who backs away or displays hesitancy. Please leave your comment about the video below. What is the intimacy balance like in your relationship?

Marriage in Crisis: 6 Ways to Keep Your Focus

I’ve observed that we live in an ADD – OCD culture. You may flit from thought to thought, project to project and for the life of you find it difficult to maintain your focus. Our medical community labels this as Attention Deficit Disorder and prescribes medication. Or you may work extremely hard controlling your environment …

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Marriage Crisis: Shift Your Focus

When confronted with a marital crisis, your knee jerk reaction is to focus “out there” to stop the crisis. An almost obsessive like focus on your spouse or partner during a marital crisis I find extremely common, at least when the crisis first erupts. Your world is thrown into chaos. Your future suddenly is marked …

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Marriage Crisis: Think Larger to Heal

In the beginning sessions of coaching I often ask someone: “What would you truly like to say to your spouse? What would you say if s/he was standing before you right now? Uncensored. No holding back. Let it fly!” Often I get the agitated response, “Well, I’ve said everything!” I urge them to tell me …

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Marriage Crisis Checklist

Here are the results for you who completed the Marriage Crisis Checklist. (If you didn’t get the Checklist, sign up for the info in the right column and you will be added to my mailing list and will have an opportunity to receive the final product. I’m just beginning research on this project.) These are …

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