Loving and Being Loved
Shouldn’t be So
Difficult – and it Isn’t!
Loving and being loved has never been easier.
Love should be natural, shouldn’t it?
Love should just be.
If love is there, you should feel it. You should experience it.
Remember what it was like to hold your newborn? Remember that experience?
Pure, unadulterated love!
Tap into the love of a newborn anything, puppy, kitten, horse!
Love, the experience of love is there! You feel it! You know it, even though it is difficult to describe.
What happened to the experience
of love in your marriage?
You want that, don’t you?
Maybe you thought you had it, but it’s now gone, replaced by tension, fear, indifference and/or anger?
You are afraid; you won’t be loved; you will be rejected; you can’t love; that love seems so far away.
You say you were in love once, but can’t get that love back?
Feel the Warmth Return
- Date nights – but always aware of an elephant you couldn’t speak about
- Marriage counseling – provided relief perhaps, but not permanent love
- Talk, talk, talk – but the talk leading not to the love you want
- You worked hard on you, becoming more attractive – but it never seemed to work
- You learned communication skills -but they merely seemed to touch the surface
- Romantic getaway – but felt like you were forcing it and the same old feelings hit you when you got home
- Be more sexy, more caring, more this and more that – but never felt you it was enough
And, so, what does a person do?
- Trade in your partner for a new one – so you will again experience that “in love” feeling?
- Live forever a life of quiet and desperate lovelessness.
- Yell, scream, get depressed, withdraw, get sick, simmer, play it cool or something else that fits you?
You Can’t go Back and You
Don’t Want to Go Back
- That first “falling in love” was powerful, but it was also primitive.
- It brought you together.
- It provided the sexual power to perhaps create a family.
- It gave you a glimmer of your powerful need to experience love in its purest form.
- But it was also limited.
How Fear Dominated Your Relationship
Beneath the “trying to put your best foot forward” and almost unconsciously mirroring back and forth to one another what you believed the other needed to hear, there was the you; the you with fears, imperfections, longings, personal neediness and an unformed maturity about love and relationships.
Once you could no longer stifle yourself and your humanity began to show, fear was born – in you, in your partner and in the marriage.
And with fear, came the tension. And with the tension the resurrection of old patterns and themes to protect yourself and simultaneously drive your partner away.
And so you can’t go back (even tho conventional advice and much of professional self-help says it will help you do that) and you don’t know how to go forward.
How to Move Forward to a Mature EASY Love
There is another level of Love that for most is undiscovered and not experienced – not lived.
This is mature love.
This is the love that is EASY.
This is the love that contains no fear and tension.
This is LOVE.
This is the powerful experience of LOVE
Rediscovery of EASY LOVE – for Your Marriage
I saw the door slam on the marital development of this LOVE while I served on the State Board for Marriage and Family Therapists in the mid 1990s.
MFTs were developing martial systems modalities that held hope for intimacy in marital and family systems. These were abandoned in the 90s. (Long story, but a sad one.)
Another, more conventional, more pathological (based on what I call the 3 fear-factors) route was pursued.
I’ve combined those marital systems modalities with recent studies of the brain, cellular (DNA) structure and function, EMDR, the place of the unconscious and quantum physics to offer tools and concepts that focus on you experiencing love in your relationship easily, without fear and tension.
Love is EASY.
You will discover EASY LOVE in my Marriage Building Online Course.
The 3 Rs of a Radically Loving Marriage
You rebuild your marriage as you carry in the back of your mind an awareness of three necessary ingredients to create EASY LOVE.
First, you must RELAX
Tension kills a relationship. And you are most tense when you are afraid; afraid of losing, of being inadequate and not being able to love.
The course time after time affirms that you truly are OK, worthy and lovable (and so, BTW, is your spouse.)
You give up the push-pull in the relationship.
You give up the tension and you begin to relax. And, when you do, you welcome a new marriage.
Second, You Must Reprogram
You must build new brain cells that view marriage differently than what you were taught.
Look around you. Look at the marriages. It’s obvious something has gone wrong. Marriage aren’t working.
When you begin to think differently about marriage, love and relationships you begin to feel, think and act differently – in more loving ways.
Third, You Must Reconnect
With fear and tension removed and replaced by ease you are now ready to welcome each other in a relaxed, open, accepting and understanding way.
Your new found freedom creates a vacuum that welcomes a love that is warm, gracious, passionate and ever growing.
This is good!
You will gradually accumulate the wisdom, understanding and tools you need to move through these three stages or phases in the Marriage Building Online Course.
You will move from Beginner to Intermediate to Advanced.
Each level builds upon the other, providing you with a foundation and framework that guarantees a steady and effective rebuilding of you and your marriage or relationship.
Here’s what You Will Learn
in the Beginners Module:
- 6 Times when a Marriage is Most Vulnerable to Divorce
- 5 Tell Tale Hints Your Marriage Can Be Saved
- Was there Chemistry in Your Marriage? (Evaluate on 1-10 scale)
- 21 Shifts that Lead you to EASY LOVE
- 80% of Marriage Do This and It Drives You Crazy
- The #1 Marriage Killer and 13 Ways to Overcome It
- The One Simple Skill that Revolutionizes a Marriage (Hint: Do you ever talk to yourself?)
- 14 Proven and Tested Actions to Take When Your Feelings Overwhelm You
- How to Move from Powerless to Joy with EASY LOVE
- The 3 EASY LOVE Laws and How They Shape Your Marriage Forever
- The Simple but not So Obvious Reason Why Marriages Fail
- The Power of Seeing What’s REALLY There and why you will love it
Here’s What You Will Learn
in the Intermediate Module:
- Why Being a Sensitive Person is Not All Bad; It’s Truly a Strength
- Your Wedding Vows Don’t Take Care of Everything – Decision Points in a Marriage
- Cinderella and the Prince were in for a rude awakening
- 4 Cute Things You Were Taught about Marriage that Leave You in Marriage La-La Land
- 6 Crisis Times in a Marriage You Can Count on – and You’re Probably in One Now
- How to “See Through” Your Spouse and Not Get Hooked
- 8 Coping Patterns that will Absolutely Drive You Up the Wall
- The 11 Step Save Your Marriage FORMULA – Follow These Steps and LOVE – Forever
- 8 Critical Keys to Saving Your Marriage
In the Advanced Module
You Will Learn:
- How to Create a Marriage that Feels Safe, Warm and Inviting
- 6 Shifts to Implement so You Won’t Think of Your Spouse as a Jerk(ette)
- Is Your Marriage Red, Yellow or Green and Why it is Imperative to Know
- Not a Nice Topic, but a Must Topic: Abuse – 49 Questions to Answer
- How to Use Texting to Get Your Spouse’s Feel-Good Attention
- Overcome the Frustration Expressed in 80% of Marriages
- How to Stop the Yellow Dance
- How to Craft the Perfect Words that Bring Your Spouse Closer
- 7 Indicators that it’s Best (for now) Not to Engage Your Spouse
- What to do with the neediness that drives you both loony
- 4 Steps you Can Take When You Want to Run Away (emotionally) From Your Spouse
- How to Set Rules as a Couple that Insure a Great Marriage
- Your Dream Marriage – It’s All Green
- The Top 10 Dangerous Ideas About Marriage
These Modules give all you need to:
Relax, Reprogram and Reconnect
When you Upgrade you gain access to the Marriage Intensive Modules (Beginners, Intermediate and Advanced) as in this chart:
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If you Upgrade now, before leaving this page, you gain access to the Marriage Intensive Modules (Beginners, Intermediate and Advanced) for only $127.
You and your marriage deserve to be surround by a warm, deep and lasting love.
Imagine what that would look like and how you would feel.
Yes, you can have it. It IS possible. Upgrade now.
You are Guaranteed cutting-edge, provocative, effective, life-changing content by a Marriage and Family Therapist since 1981.
I stand by my materials. I’ve received thousands of testimonials online over the past 15 years and stand by what I offer.
If, however, for any reason, you are not satisfied, I will have Alli at customer service refund your money with no questions asked.
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I look forward to seeing you in my Marriage Building Online Course.